The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
