rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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