Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think my moral compass just broke
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
