Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
