taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
MIDGETS
????
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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