is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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