I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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