ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
