$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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