mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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