the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
