I want to walk on stilts...naked
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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