So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
