FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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