I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
