dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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