forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
as a side note pls kill me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
