I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
