what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
