Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut

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(303): View more from Colorado

good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"

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(310): View more from California

I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.

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(631): View more from New York

I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.

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(425): View more from Washington

Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.

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(631): View more from New York

I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship

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(702): View more from Nevada

Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals

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