WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
