awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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