Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My dick has a subreddit
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
