i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
