Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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