I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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