I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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