Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
