I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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