She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
