Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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