worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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