Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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