how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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