4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
