I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
