I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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