well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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