I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
