The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
