nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
