Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
