I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
