The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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