I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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