Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
