He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
