i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
