She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
