so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
